Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
