Ambien. No doubt about it.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
why is half of my head shaved?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize