We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
