If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
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I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"