Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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(480): View more from Arizona

YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

(602): View more from Arizona

I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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(607): View more from New York

Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.

(440): View more from Ohio

Awkward

(614): View more from Ohio

Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.

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(706): View more from Georgia

He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.

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(813): View more from Florida

Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent

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