Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

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  (626): What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?" http://tfl.nu/e6g5
  Replies (33) Good night (851) Bad night (3033)
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  (619): View more from California

  I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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  (619): I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated. http://tfl.nu/km5l
  Replies (27) Good night (8949) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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  (813): I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month. http://tfl.nu/259p
  Replies (20) Good night (733) Bad night (5145)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.

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  (908): it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season. http://tfl.nu/4nsl
  Replies (23) Good night (1617) Bad night (3952)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  people are starting to question the shark bite story

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  (321): people are starting to question the shark bite story http://tfl.nu/6iki
  Replies (19) Good night (4058) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

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  (281): I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! http://tfl.nu/gg3p
  Replies (51) Good night (5312) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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  (860): Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/vbqh
  Replies (4) Good night (3641) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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  (734): They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you. http://tfl.nu/tuzf
  Replies (5) Good night (2443) Bad night (931)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Speaking is such a hard concept right now

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  (913): Speaking is such a hard concept right now http://tfl.nu/ohqp
  Replies (3) Good night (1643) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

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  (747): by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party. http://tfl.nu/9v1z
  Replies (8) Good night (2142) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.

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  (314): The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons. http://tfl.nu/mw2s
  Replies (10) Good night (2488) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

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  (919): Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight? http://tfl.nu/lpr7
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You get home okay?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I'm pantless and in bed

  (585): View more from New York

  That doesn't mean you're at home.

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  (585): You get home okay? (1-585): I'm pantless and in bed (585): That doesn't mean you're at home. http://tfl.nu/bq7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1304) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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  (248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.

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  (219): The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/ehhb
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (157)

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