i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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