he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
