it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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