let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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