toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
