So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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