Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
