i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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