I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize