D3 body, D1 cock
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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