I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Send help, water and tortillas.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we should paint friendship bongs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize