Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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