Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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