Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
