Having a random hookup so left but love u
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
