Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
