Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
