I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
