I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...