just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.