U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill