You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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