she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
