No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
