Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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