I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
