Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
