Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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