fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize