Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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