Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize