Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
