benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
