Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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