Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
