i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
