3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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