I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize