Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
