the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
