Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
