road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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