That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
