did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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