Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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