he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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