I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
