I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
