shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
