he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I believe in your delicious
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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