absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
