dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
