He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
