**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
