I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
