I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
