the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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