but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
