I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
