Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
