i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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