So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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