so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
