i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize