I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
